:(

:( you didnt reply my goodnight msg today,it means so much to me but nvm,maybe you really wont ever love me like we used to.woke up in the morning enjoying my sad feelings,im gratefull for it because i still love you,you will start work in a few hours,hope you have fun baby.i cant find you on my msn list,i tried adding you again,but they just said ure already added,i feel so lousy in everything i do,i wish you would give me everything,i helped gwen with a call,its good to helpp others,but i still cant help myself,or like candice says have i done everything?i collected all ur pics today,its an accomplishment.i feel so angry after dinner,mum just keeps talking and talking,jasmine and pops too,but no matter what they say,i just wont bother to reply,even though its rude i just dont feel like i can speak,what do need me to do,to love me?you want to drink my heart juice,damn,its frustrating,its sad,its laughable,its fucked.my mum says:treat people how you want to be treated,i dont see it working,or does it work only on my deathbed?i decided not to write the book for us anymore,because its all in these two blogs,my heartfelt feelings,the only part was,i only blogged twice when you were mine,i cant just let go,i just cant give up,but the most discouraging part is that youre going to aus,and you have a home there.i cant go back to fourth level everyday to cry right?kasiatun came back today,its nice to hear that shes going back home,she looks the same and her hands are as strong and moist as usual,i miss her,but when she left i didnt really mind because she talks so loudly,and messes my room up.i wonder if ull ever ask me out?or do i have to ask when ure drunk?see you in slumberland dearest <3